


Half a Moment

by SeemaG



Series: Tightrope [13]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Kanar, Maquis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26073409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeemaG/pseuds/SeemaG
Summary: "*This* would be the last time. He knew it was a mistake; he would *not* keep coming back."Story #13 in the Tightrope series.
Relationships: Chakotay/Seska (Star Trek)
Series: Tightrope [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797067
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	Half a Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Rocky for the beta, and Alan Ayckbourn & Andrew Lloyd Webber for providing the title.
> 
> Part of the Tightrope series. While this one can stand alone, it may help to read the others first.

Chakotay stood outside her door and signaled for entry, cursing himself for what he was about to do. _This would be the last time_. He knew it was a mistake; he would _not_ keep coming back.

The door opened and she stood aside to let him enter. She wore a red negligee, cut low in front and just barely skimming the tops of her thighs. Her dark red hair was freed from its usual tight confines from when she was on duty. She smiled. “Chakotay. I had given up on you.”

His mouth felt dry. “I’m sorry for the late hour, Seska,” he said, wondering if she would accept any of the excuses dancing at the edge of tongue. A meeting with the captain that had run late, dinner plans with B’Elanna and Ayala, losing track of time in his quarters while meditating. Anything but the truth: that he had been on the edge of indecision, and in the end, he’d given into temptation. But he said nothing as she pulled him into her quarters. _This would be the last time_.

***

He’d kept his distance at first. As first officer, it would not be becoming to engage in an intensely personal relationship with a subordinate, even if she wasn’t in his direct chain of command, even if that relationship had predated his elevation to first officer. But one Saturday night, not long after B’Elanna had been named chief engineer, things had changed. He’d heard some grumbling among the Maquis about tensions between them and the Starfleet officers. He was well aware of the unpleasant undercurrents, but believed they would dissipate in time. B’Elanna, in her new leadership role, agreed with him.

“It’s a tough change for everyone,” B’Elanna told him over breakfast. She kept her voice low, as she played with the food on her plate. “It’s going to take time for all of us to get used to working together. The _Voyager_ crew, they had a lot of time together before they came after us.”

It wasn’t lost on Chakotay that B’Elanna had drawn a line of distinction. He was also well aware that Tuvok was keeping a close eye on the Maquis; he’d witnessed security officers occasionally following them. Lon Suder and Ken Dalby especially had attracted Tuvok’s attention. Chakotay knew Lon had some anti-social tendencies, almost sociopathic, but as far as he could tell, neither Lon nor Ken deserved the extra attention Tuvok was lavishing upon them. Then there was Seska, who seemed to vacillate wildly between anger and compliance. Seska had always been capricious, but the stakes were too high now to let the situation go unaddressed.

He’d been thinking about ending their relationship even before the Caretaker had hurled the _Val Jean_ into the Delta Quadrant. He liked that Seska was his intellectual equal, that she was strategic and possessed a level of cunning he normally attributed to the Cardassians. Like Lon Suder, had a fearlessness that made her fearsome. But the intensity that made her such a good Maquis was difficult to handle on a personal level. Since joining the _Voyager’s_ crew, he’d avoided having a direct conversation with her on the subject – that now that he was first officer in a Starfleet crew, there was a different standard he had to adhere to; he knew Seska had feelings for him, stronger than what he felt towards her. It was a convenient excuse, and he didn’t have any pangs of regret at the thought of ending things with her. Except for that one moment, in the corridor, in during their first week aboard of _Voyager_ ; he’d pressed her up against the wall. Close enough to inhale her perfume, he had to admit that he still found her intoxicating. He’d managed to stay away for a few more days – late night meetings with Janeway and the fact B’Elanna and Seska shared quarters – managed to make for convenient excuses. And then one night, neither of those excuses seemed important anymore.

It was in the middle of Beta shift when Chakotay approached Seska’s quarters. He was in uniform, careful to convey the impression that this was a purely business meeting. She was, of course, alone. B’Elanna, who had formerly roomed with her, had moved into more spacious quarters down the corridor in section 12 when she was named Chief Engineer, and no one else had been assigned to the empty space.

“Sorry. I know it’s late,” he said, stepping inside. Seska was wearing only the Starfleet-issue tank top and pants. The lights were dim. Through the door to the bedroom, he could see that the covers on her bed were pulled back. He wondered if she had been getting ready for bed.

“Don’t apologize. I was just relaxing.” She tipped her head towards the table where an uncorked bottle sat next to a wine glass, half full of a brown-hued liquid. “We deserve a little break, don’t we?” And without asking, she poured him a glass and pressed it into his hand. “Come, sit down.”

He sat, and she curled up opposite him.

“This is _kanar_ ,” Chakotay said in surprise.

Seska shrugged. “It takes less rations to replicate a bottle of _kanar_ than it does for a bottle of wine. Have you seen how expensive the Ktarian merlot is?”

“I have not,” Chakotay said. He took another sip of _kanar_. The liquid was thicker than he expected and stung the back of his throat, but there was a smoothness that he hadn’t quite expected from a Cardassian spirit. “I ran into Gerron on my way here.”

A tiny smile played across Seska’s lips. “I’m sure that was no accident,” she said. “What did he have to say for himself?”

“He’s pretty unhappy. He claims he has the worst shifts, that his quarters are uncomfortable, that he doesn’t have any substantial work to do.” Chakotay paused for a moment, trying to remember the litany of complaints an aggrieved Gerron had laid on him. “That the original _Voyager_ crew downplay his skills, his experience.”

“Gerron whines a lot,” Seska said, “but for once, his complaints are legitimate. The Starfleet officers _do_ treat us as second-class citizens. Janeway may have named you her first officer, and you swear it’s not just a token appointment, but the rest of them don’t see us as equals.”

“I’m aware there are some issues, and I know that we need to work on changing attitudes,” Chakotay said, leaning back. He was indeed feeling relaxed. “Still, we’ve had some successes - B’Elanna is the chief engineer. That should help the Maquis feel more comfortable with our place on this ship.”

“What would help is if _we_ had control over this ship,” Seska said.

He stared at her in disbelief. She had brought this up to him during their confrontation in the corridor, but he thought she’d backed down from that stance. “What exactly are you insinuating?” He had a fairly good idea, but he wanted to hear the words from her mouth directly.

“ _You_ should be captain, not Janeway,” she said sharply.

“You _know_ that’s not the agreement, Seska. We were invited to serve on Janeway’s ship,” he said, his voice catching slightly at the back of his throat. Sacrificing the _Val Jean_ had been the right decision but damn, sometimes he missed the ship B’Elanna had scornfully called `a bucket of bolts.’

“I’m not the only one who believes that,” she said.

There was a glint in Seska’s eyes that caught Chakotay’s attention. He leaned forward. “Tell me what you have planned.”

Seska shook her head. “I haven’t planned anything.”

“You said you aren’t the only one. What about the others?” Chakotay demanded. “Gerron, Chell, Dalby, Jarwin…”

“They’re wondering what side you’re on. They need to see you stepping up for them, for _us._ ”

“Next time you talk to them, you should remind them to reread how Starfleet regards mutiny.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing but wounded machismo. You know how they are. They’re frustrated by all the rules and regulations. I am, too.”

Chakotay considered. “Do _all_ the Maquis feel that way?”

“Most of us. Not B’Elanna though.” Seska’s lip curled. “Ever since she joined the senior staff, she’s turned into one of _them_.”

“I need you to be one of them too,” Chakotay said. “The Maquis, they look up to you. They respect you. They follow your lead. I need your help.” He took another deep swallow. The _kanar_ felt warm in his stomach and he was aware of a pleasant buzz. “Can I count on you?”

Seska’s face was sphinxlike. He wondered what she was thinking, and as she shifted position, the strap of her tanktop slipped partway down her arm, revealing the rise of her breast. “We’ve always wanted the same thing,” Seska said. “Winning has always been everything.”

“This isn’t about winning,” Chakotay said evenly.

“It isn’t?” she said, giving him an innocent look. She took another sip from her glass and he did as well.

One thing had led to another and they’d wound up in bed. Later, as he left her quarters, he was full of self-recrimination for having succumbed to her charms. And yet, somehow, there was a second time, and a third, and a fourth. Seska seemed happier, and he told himself that by continuing their relationship, he was at least keeping her on his side.

Now he stood inside her cabin, accepted a drink and sat down heavily on her couch.

“Long day?” she inquired as she began to massage his shoulders. He closed his eyes as the rhythmic movement of her fingers eased away the tension in his muscles.

“Split shift,” he said, “which is always hard. It didn’t help that we had some excitement early on.” At her questioning look, he added, “We had a mystery attacker during Gamma shift.”

“I heard the red alert,” she acknowledged. “‘All hands to battle stations.’ Of course, they really mean ‘all hands except for the lowly Maquis’.”

“The expectation is that if you are on duty during a red alert that you remain at your station, regardless of whether you are Starfleet or Maquis, and if relieved by Alpha shift personnel, you are to stay close by to assist.” His eyes narrowed. “I hope you, as the rest of the on-duty Maquis, did so.”

“I wasn’t on shift,” Seska said. “Chakotay, I know it’s been a long day, but you should be aware of something. That ‘undercurrent’ you mentioned, well, the grumbling is getting louder.” The pressure she exerted on his sore muscles changed subtly, and he yelped in pain. “You’ve got to do something.”

He grimaced. They’d had this ‘discussion’ many times before and it was getting tedious. “We’ve gone through this many times, Seska. There is no evidence that anyone on _Voyager_ considers the Maquis second-class citizens.”

“You’ve said that many times, that we’re one crew. But just saying the words don’t make it so.” Seska paused in her actions. “What about Janeway?”

“What about her?”

“Do you really think she trusts you?”

Chakotay hesitated. He was still getting to know the captain. Most of their interactions had been on the bridge, or in the briefing room, surrounded by other people. Until today, when they’d gone over the personnel reports, they hadn’t spent much time together one on one. They had exchanged few details of a personal nature. He knew Janeway was married to Admiral Paris, knew that she had three stepchildren including Tom, and that her dog’s name was Molly. The captain was clearly operating on good faith, choosing to consult him on all of her major decisions, but did she _really_ trust him?

“I don’t know,” Chakotay finally said. “Trust takes time.” He thought about asking Seska about something he’d heard a while back. “I know there was a rumor going around at one time that Janeway and I were sleeping together.” He grimaced. It sounded so demeaning, like the captain was trying to buy his loyalty any way she could.

Seska leaned forward. “Is it true?”

“Would I be here if it was?” he asked. That he found the captain incredibly attractive was true, but she was married. “We have a good working relationship, but that’s all there is to it.”

“The Maquis will be relieved to hear that,” she said, and he thought he detected a triumphant note in her voice. She shrugged, and her negligee strap fell the rest of the way, completely exposing her breast. Chakotay thought about challenging Seska as the instigator of the rumor, but instead, he put his glass down.

“Can I trust you?” he asked her.

Seska smiled, her lips parting enough to show her teeth. “You know the answer to that.”

He reached out, tugged on her other strap so it was down as well, and peeled off her negligee. Seska edged towards him, and then their lips met. Chakotay wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. She thrust against him eagerly. When he came, every cell in his body burst with feeling. His tension eased and he leaned against her heavily.

“Wow,” he said softly.

Seska smiled and poured him another drink. “You and I fit together,” she told him. “No one understands you like I do.”

Later, they moved to the bed to sleep, and in the hour before Alpha shift started, Seska straddled him. Naked, he found her body perfectly sculpted, as if chiseled out of a dream. He put his hands on her hips and felt her closing around him. This time it was more like what he remembered from the past – a furious rush to satisfaction – but it put him in a better frame of mind when he finally put on his uniform.

Seska had the day off and she wrapped herself in a robe as she watched Chakotay affix his rank bar to his collar.

“Will I see you again tonight?” she asked, a satisfied smile playing about her lips.

He didn’t meet her eyes. “I don’t know. I’ll have to check my schedule.” Objectively, there was no reason _not_ to see her again, except of course for the fact that he was planning on breaking off their relationship. She was his weakness, like a drug. Something inside him warned him he was playing with fire. And…he didn’t know what Janeway would think if she was aware of his relationship with Seska. He didn’t know why that should matter, but it did.

“I will let you know,” he said. As he left her cabin, he vowed that _this_ was the last time.


End file.
